A therapist with a purpose

Hi my name is Kelly Ayala and I’ve been learning and practicing therapy for the last 20 years. Although, it just might be safe to say I’ve been doing this my whole life. I’m the eldest daughter of a mixed race family, who did the best they could to give my sister and I the life they never had. Along the way I picked up some anxiety and attachment issues, but the good news is I decided to take the step to care for myself and improve my mental health. Steps I now hope to pass onto you.

My own lived experience helped me understand that one of the quickest ways to stop anxiety in it’s tracks was to tell myself what I’m feeling is wrong, then shame myself for feeling and then completely ignore any expression of emotion. Overeating, overthinking people pleasing and perfectionism is where I found a sense of control and ease. Then I would burn out and the cycle would start over again.

Somewhere along the line self expression was shamed, ignored or shut down so the only way to manage emotions was to avoid feeling them. This worked great in systems of dysfunction but once I was an adult it stopped me from sharing my opinions, thoughts & feelings as well as setting boundaries, taking healthy risks and believing in myself. 

I share this with you because I’m no stranger to Anxiety, Attachment & Relational Trauma. It wasn’t until I started attending graduate school, working with a therapist and seeing from my clients perspectives that our early experiences and relationships had an impact on how we shape the view of ourself and others. My constant worry about what others thought of me and my fears of saying the wrong thing weren’t a character flaw but an adaptation.

Early on in my career I focused on procedure, how to clinically decrease anxiety symptoms: coping skills, lifestyle changes, mindfulness and meditation, medication management and symptom reduction was my priority. But when clients success (and my own) became temporary I felt called to seek beyond the medical model. What I learned is that people need people first. If the problems started in relationship then that is where it was going to be solved. The most exciting finding was that the relationship that mattered most was not the one with me but the one the client had with themself.

I went on to complete additional studies with the International Association of Applied Neuroscience to better understand the brain, nervous system and the science of attachment & anxiety. Next I was drawn to understand the impacts of trauma on the body so I completed 200hr of training in Yoga for Mental Health and 300hr in yoga somatics. After learning how anxiety and trauma impact the body I wanted to find trauma informed models that could address both the mind and body so I received EMDR training and simultaneously dove head first into IFS trainings.

I’m a therapist with a purpose to support you on your journey to living authentically. What you have gone through is not who you are. What it has done is illuminate parts of you that are overworked. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel but I can say I know what it’s like to repair the disconnect inside myself. When you choose to take the next step know that I’m here to support you.